


tapping at the windows of your heart

by pyrality



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-25 23:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrality/pseuds/pyrality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It's the way Kise falls in love with him that's the worst part, because it's not even falling, but rather guided taps towards an unlikely destination. Just like the way Kuroko touches the basketball; just a tap.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	tapping at the windows of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> i tweaked and edited some stuff!!

What a fragile, fragile little boy.

Kise still thinks that Kuroko is small and fragile and that he should be protected. He knows that Kuroko doesn’t need to be protected, that the boy would resent such a thought in the first place, and Kise thinks next that perhaps he’s stronger than Kise himself in many ways.

When he sees Kuroko on the court, a human among giants, he gets…  _affectionate_. Because even if Kuroko looks like a child in comparison to everyone else, he is much more dangerous. People mistake Kuroko’s bluntness and quiet disposition to mean he doesn’t care, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Kuroko has tenacity and passion and the courage and faith to never give up. Kise is so incredibly jealous and respectful of him for that reason. Because while Kuroko doesn’t get emotional on the court the way other people do, visibly with yelling and fist-pumping, Kise can always sense the heightened air of excitement and passion around the boy the few seconds before the next play starts.

Kise’s motto has always been to be honest with himself.

He doesn’t want to be when it comes to Kuroko. It’s the way Kise starts to fall in love with him that’s the worst part, because it’s not even falling, but rather guided taps towards an unlikely destination. Just like the way Kuroko touches the basketball; just a tap. It’s infuriating. Kise hates the way it feels, like he’s staggering on his feet all the time with the other boy, the way he can’t quite readjust to the beat of Kuroko’s drum. But then the water is sweeping at his feet, telling him to jump or drown, and there’s a soft hand at his back, tapping him in the right direction. Kise looks back and sees blue eyes and the faintest smile and he— he lets the feeling of the slightest pressure on his heart guide him in stunted steps forward, closer towards admitting feelings he didn’t know had grown so much while he wasn’t paying attention.  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
  
  
"Kurokocchi." 

The other turns to him, head tilting up to look at him expectantly. Kise wants— he  _wants_ , but he  _can’t_.

Kise smiles at him, hoping his sincere smile will be enough to at least convey something to the other. He manages to get his words out past the knot in his throat. “Won’t you reconsider coming to Kaijo with me?”

This is usually when Kuroko deadpans a joke, despite claiming he doesn’t have a sense of humor. But there’s a softness in his eyes despite his even voice when he replies, “No. I’ve made my choice.”

The model gives his best smile, the forced kind he’s used during shoots when he was feeling under the weather. “I’m going to miss you, Kurokocchi.”

Kuroko turns away and his voice is quiet, barely audible over the loudspeaker as their principal starts talking, but Kise hears him.

"You too, Kise-kun."  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
  
  
It’s the way Kise falls in love all over again. The determination he sees in those pale blue eyes, the soft way Kuroko moves and shifts when he’s taking a moment to breathe, the stoic yet polite tone of his voice when he talks, the way his fingers tap against the ball to guide it where he wants it to go. The sickening Kise feels twist in his stomach when he turns too fast and his fingernails clip along Kuroko’s forehead, staining red on pale, pale skin.

Kuroko’s fingers tap against the basketball, knocking it to fit perfectly into Kagami’s wide hands. He’s jealous, incredibly so, because it has been so long since he’s caught one of Kuroko’s passes. He wants to abandon his team for the moment, leave them in the dust, go somewhere quiet with Kuroko and tell him things he’s not even admitted to himself.

Kise Ryouta has never been in love before and he’s thankful for it because being in love with Kuroko is like wading through deep water, with waves that almost feel like fingers grasping back. It feels like skipping to wonderlands with two left feet, like breathing in the smell of food he knows he’s not allowed to eat, like grasping at straws.  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
  
  
Kise’s insufferably selfish, something he knows very well. He’s spoiled and petty and selfish and given the chance, he’d want to monopolize Kuroko’s time. But he hates being controlled and smothered and he knows Kuroko would hate it even more. But he has to say these things, he takes the chance to whisk Kuroko away to the park where they can talk in private while the Seirin team is still eating.

He wants to apologize for the wound he inflicted, but he’s pretty sure Kuroko doesn’t even care about that. So he just asks if it’s feeling alright instead and as expected, the other gives a polite answer. Kise means every word he says, but when he sees the way Kuroko’s face drops ever so slightly as he apologizes, he quickly insists it was just a joke.

But it’s not.

After seeing Kuroko’s passes for the first time in a long time today, once again to someone other than him, Kise wants so badly to be by his side and play with him again. He’s a nasty person, deep inside, even if he may seem kind and reasonable to everyone else, Kise knows he’s vile and selfish. He doesn’t understand why Kuroko’s mentality changed when it used to be him that reminded Kise they had to win all their games. Maybe only valuing victory is shallow, but it’s all Kise’s got. He’s always been competitive in all aspects.

"Do you really think Kagami won’t be a different person?" he asks.

He knows these aren’t the things Kuroko wants to hear, because it’s a painful reminder of how Aomine changed. Kagami is a lot like Aomine, tenacity combined with an overwhelming passion for basketball, seeking out worthy rivals. Kise knows how Kuroko feels when it comes to Aomine, because he feels the same way. But Kise’s never been one to play fair when it comes to Kuroko, so he reopens old wounds with his words, anything to keep Kuroko away from Kagami.  
  
  
 

~*~  
  
  
  


It’s a brief game; those thugs are decent at basketball, but they’re no better than the average team. But it’s nice. Because at least Kise gets to receive Kuroko’s passes for awhile, even if he has to share them with Kagami.

It’s so typical of Kuroko to be so firm and serious about bullying and violence and a tiny little bird remind Kise that Kuroko’s probably been bullied during middle school as well and his heart twinges. Kise wants to say something, but the redhead is scolding him, worry hidden behind anger. The blue-haired boy flexes his arm, absolutely deadpan as he says his joke. Kagami won’t turn out like Aomine, Kise realizes, but perhaps that’s a good thing. Because it means Kuroko won’t lose a friend and a partner.

Kise respects Kagami, he really does, even amidst his jealousy of the other for his partnership with Kuroko.   
  
  
 

~*~  
  
  
 

"Is that why you always reject girls?" Kasamatsu asks one day after practice, when they’re alone in the locker room. It’s only been a few days since they watched the Seirin and Shutoku Inter-High game.

Kise laughs shakily, turning away from his captain’s knowing eyes. “Kurokocchi’s just a friend!” he says, just a little too loudly, even to his own ears. He tugs the zipper to his bag close hurriedly, nails scraping against the fabric.

"I never said anything about Kuroko," the other answers. But he doesn’t press the issue.

Kasamatsu has always been too good of a captain.  
  
  
  
~*~

 

Kise doesn’t care if it makes him look desperate; he doesn’t have shame anymore when it comes to Kuroko. He makes time out of his busy modeling schedule to go visit Kuroko, even though it’s frightful waste of money and effort.

> To: Kurokocchi  
> Subject: Let’s hang out!!  
> Kurokocchi, I’m in the area, let’s go out to eat!

  
He doesn’t expect the other to accept. He just clicks the screen of his phone off and sticks it in his pocket as he noses his scarf, tugging it up. The weather has gotten a lot colder, not cold enough to really require thick winter clothes yet, but any drop in temperature is Kise’s excuse to pull out his collection of expensive scarves because no one said he wasn’t incredibly vain and childish. He’s already in Tokyo, because Kise figures even if Kuroko rejects him, he can still have fun and maybe even challenge Kagami to a one-on-one while he’s at it.

 

Kise’s about to pull his hand out of his pocket, but he feels the phone vibrate in his fingers. He hadn’t expected such a quick reply (refusal) from Kuroko, but he steels his heart over and pulls it out to look at the message.

> To: Kise Ryouta  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> Okay. Where do you want to meet?

  
Kise blames the shaking of his fingers on the cold when he types out his response. It takes him several tries to type everything out properly and he needs to put on some chapstick after this because he’s been worrying his lips with his teeth this whole time.

> To: Kurokocchi  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> I can come pick you up. I want to walk around with you. We haven’t talked in awhile!

  
Kuroko’s reply is once again swift.

> To: Kise Ryouta  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> Isn’t that troublesome for you?

> To: Kurokocchi  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> No, not at all! I’ll be right there. 

> To: Kise Ryouta  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> Okay. 

  
Kise is about to tuck his phone away when it vibrates again. He hums, curious as to what else Kuroko has to say, thumbing his phone to unlock.

> To: Kise Ryouta  
> Subject: Re: Let’s hang out!!  
> Welcome back, Kise-kun.

 

 

~*~

   
  


Kuroko is bundled in winter clothes, complete with earmuffs that he takes off the moment his mom closes the door. He looks adorable buried under winter clothing even though it’s a bit early in the year for layers. Kise’s heart swells with affection. The shorter boy twitches, sliding his earmuffs back on suddenly just as his mom opens the door again. 

"You better keep those on!" she tells him. "I don’t want you to get sick."

Kuroko hums, nodding. “I won’t. Get sick, I mean,” he amends when his mother narrows her eyes at him challengingly.

She looks to Kise with a smile. “Take care of him, alright?”

"I will," Kise promises solemnly, grinning when Kuroko shoots him a slightly petulant look. 

The blue-haired boy waddles over to him, still wary of his mother as she looks on, and Kise has to try  _very_  hard not to start grinning at how cute he looks. Only after she’s shut the door and they’re beyond the curb does Kuroko slide his earmuffs off and tuck them into his pocket. Kise half-wants to say something because Kuroko looks great with earmuffs on, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to upset the other.

"What do you want to do?" he asks. 

Kuroko doesn’t answer right away, dwelling on the question before answering, “Anything is fine.”

"Are you hungry?" the blond tries instead.

"No," the other replies, glancing up at him. "What about you?"

"Me neither," Kise lies. He hasn’t eaten since this morning, but he’s not too hungry, so it’s fine. "Let’s go downtown and check out the video game shop. We can catch a meal down there later."

Kuroko nods contentedly, turning his gaze back to the front.  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
  
 

Kise wonders if it’d be alright if he called Kuroko by his first name or if it would seem too intimate too suddenly.  
  
  
  


~*~

 

 

> To: Aominecchi  
> Subject: Kurokocchi  
> What does Kurokocchi like???（・∩・）？

> To: Kise  
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi  
> not you

> To: Aominecchi  
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi  
> That’s mean, Aominecchi!! (˃̥̥﹏˂̥̥̥)  
> I’m being serious! I want to buy him something.

> To: Kise  
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi  
> why dont you ask him instead of me. but ill say tetsu is probably low maintenance

> To: Aominecchi
> 
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi
> 
> You’re no help at all! (⇀‸↼‶)

> To: Kise  
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi  
> ffs stop being a baby and just get over your big gay crisis already

> To: Aominecchi  
> Subject: Re: Kurokocchi  
> You are the WORST person ever of ALL time in the WHOLE world (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

 

~*~   
  
  
  


Kise spends a lot more time with Kuroko these days. He finds excuses to go visit the other when he can and if he’s honest with himself, it’s gotten out of hand somewhat. Kasamatsu seems to understand it’s not just infatuation, but he still gets irritated at him when the blond begs him to let him skip practice.

"Senpai," the model begs, using his best puppy eyes on the older teen. He opens the text message and shoves it at Kasamatsu. "Pleaaaaaase. Kurokocchi  _never_  texts me first to ask about hanging out.”

"Absolutely not. The Winter Cup is just around the corner," Kasamatsu reminds him coldly, hands on his waist, brow furrowed. "You’re getting distracted. What are you going to do if we have to play Seirin?"

"That’s different! I can deal with him on the court. You know how competitive I get." Kise starts bowing deeply, rubbing his hands together in a pleading gesture. "Kasamatsu-senpai, this is really important!" 

The captain kicks his shin lightly and smacks his hands away. “You are literally asking me if you can skip practice to go play videogames with your former teammate—  _our_  rival.”

"But—"

"You have to do twice as many laps and shooting next practice," Kasamatsu relents, puffing out a heavy sigh. "At least make this date worthwhile."

"It’s not a date!" Kise fumbles over his words, embarrassed. He feels his cheeks flushing warm. "We’re just—"

His captain looks him straight in the eyes, expression completely serious. “The sooner you tell him, the sooner I can stop having to deal with you moping about your dumb love life.”  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
  
  


Kuroko Tetsuya is an oddity, an enigma hidden behind pale blue eyes, a quiet passion underneath a calm exterior.

Kise knows Momoi adores him because she can’t read him or predict him. Kuroko Tetsuya is an anomaly in every way. Kise knows how his pink-haired friend feels because Kuroko eludes him as well, more so than the other four. He’s always been different, apart from the group, unique and prodigal in his own way. Kuroko Tetsuya is a mystery, thoughts locked away, demeanor reticent. But that’s one of the best and worst things about Kuroko, Kise thinks, the way Kuroko always manages to surprise him.

Today is a good surprise. A very good one.

Kuroko covers his hand on the controller with his own, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Kise-kun,” he says, voice just a breath.

Kise doesn’t breathe because he is drowning under heavy water, reaching for waves that don’t quite grab his fingers back, like grasping at straws. Kuroko kisses him softly, breathing into him when he opens his mouth. The blond thinks he’s waited too long to jump from the water at his feet this time, that maybe Kuroko has lead him astray with those gentle taps. His heart is hammering in his chest with the slightest pressure beating down on it, like the taps of familiar and slender fingers against a basketball. 

"I haven’t been very honest with you," Kuroko says carefully when he pulls away, his slightly heavier breathing the only indication their kiss affected him at all. "I think I may like you a lot." 

Kise looks up at him and sees the other teen wearing the slightest smile on his face, eyes just barely betraying a hidden softness. It’s not fair; Kuroko doesn’t play fair at all.


End file.
